Wednesday, September 28, 2016

A Birth Plan

First time:
My water broke at home, 37 hours later at the hospital I had a c-section.
We never did a birthing class, toured part of the hospital, and my only plan was to have an epidural.

Second time:
Since I want a VBAC, and as I sit here having contractions at work (what joy....), my plan is to just breathe like they tell you in TV shows where they go to a class.

Great planning huh?
At least this time I have the baby bag packed in advance (did it at 6am the first time) and a bag for me.
Also a bag for my son to take to Grandma's for a couple days.

So I'm partially prepared, that works right?

I never had contractions like this the first time.
It's very intriguing... 

Monday, September 26, 2016

Do I really need all this stuff?

As I'm prepping (nesting) for baby #2 to arrive in 2 weeks and 1 day (but who is counting down...) there are some things I wonder if I really NEED or just want.

Went to Ross on my lunch break today to find a bag to carry my pumping supplies to work.
Is that a NEED?  Kind of.  I don't know how else I'd carry it to work and I wanted a new bag that I could easily santize.  I also got a new insulated bag that fits inside the new one that lays flat for the freezer at work.  Kinda need those to feed my baby santitarily and to hide things a bit when I go back to work.

Hats/socks- I personally didn't want my baby girl girl coming home from the hospital in the only newborn hat her brother had- camo that says Daddy's Hunting BUddy.  I could make it work BUT.... she deserved her own.  Pink with birds it is.  And the socks?  The elastic on big brudduh's socks just felt like it was wearing out.

Bedding- yes I have four sheets from big brudduh for the crib.  but they were western sheets.  I do need to get her a couple that are girly enough.  For now the plain brown ones/brown and white checkered will do for now.

a cradle.  I borrowed my SIL's bassinet for the little man and then she had her own so it's back in her hands.  And she announced they were "trying" when we found out we were pregnant so no way was I gonna ask to borrow it again.
And I like a small thing to keep them in by me for the first couple months.
So it's not a need as we have a crib but more a want.  And it has a very "heirloom" look to it.

the fancy blessing dress- I never had one.  It's a long story but all three of us girls from my mom wore a vivid red dress to our blessings at church and HECK NO was I using that again.
I need something for the blessing but the want was the style.  I spent more than I should have but hopefully she'll pass it on to her daughter?

It's sometimes very hard to define needs vs. wants.
But when I'm hormonal, can't do much, and am having the daughter I never thought I'd have.... Eh, just let me shop. :)

Monday, September 19, 2016

False Labor

Last Thursday I woke up just not feeling myself.
I was aching everywhere, gave up and finally used the elevator once at work instead of the stairs (we're only on the 2nd floor but the 1st floor is huge so it's two flights of stairs to the 2nd).

Around 4pm I started feeling like my Braxton Hicks were hurting more in my back and everywhere.  I started wondering if they were real contractions.

5pm, on the drive home from work, timed them (what else is there to do in a construction packed highway?).
Every two minutes.
Got to my parents to pick up the little man- 5:35 and still going strong at every two minutes.

I burst into tears when my mom asks how I am feeling.
She starts laughing and smiling at me through each contraction.

Decided I should probably tell the hubby.
Text him- are you home?
Within about 10 seconds I get a FB message- Sorry honey, my phone died.  I'm home already
Me:  k well um... I'm having contractions every two minutes.
Him:  okay, what do you want to do? Do you think you need to go to the hospital?
Me: I don't want to.  I'll get home and lay down, see what happens
Him: ok
Me: charge your phone, leaving now, meet me outside

Got home and for the first time ever of requesting him to meet me outside to help me in- he was there!
And he went  straight to get the little man out of the car.
Yeah I yelled- I'm the one in labor, the 4 year old can wait!!

We went inside and started packing the baby bag (which was partially packed) and my bag.  Also a bag for little man while staying at grandparents.

Finally decided around 7 we should just go.  They weren't slowing down.
Took little man to my parents, went to the hospital OB Emergency.

They hooked me up and determined I was very dehydrated.
So I did two bags of fluid in a couple hours, watched some Disney movies, and they said they were having a hard time getting little lady's heart rate cause she wouldn't hold still.  Yup, that's my girl.  CONSTANTLY moving.

But we got the contractions to slow down, got home around 11:30pm and here I am at work again.  How exciting, a letdown, and now back to waiting again.

The good news is she's not here early.
Bad news is I'm not dilated or effaced AT ALL.

Countdown to schedule c-section- 21 days.  SO LONG.......

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Lets talk about Hair

My hair has always been the same color- I call it Golden Red.
The first thing my mom said when she saw me after giving birth was- look, she has red hair!

It's always been STICK straight, doesn't hold curl, and could never be called thick.

When my mom and sister were pregnant their hair changed to curly.
I had high hopes for this- cause a girl with straight hair wants curls and a girl with curls wants straight hair, right?

First pregnancy- hormones didn't get high enough to do anything before I lost that one
Second pregnancy- the last trimester my hair grew like CRAZY, got awesomely thick, and was just pretty.
Third pregnancy- last trimester my hair is again growing like CRAZY but the thickness this time is just kinda annoying.

But after the second pregnancy- it all fell out and I had to cut it short for a bit.
NEVER did it get curly or even a possible wave.

Third pregnancy- I know it'll fall out again.  It's just being weird.
If anything it's holding curl worse than in my whole life.

Hormones do some crazy stuff for sure!

But once I get back down to my goal weight the plan is to go pixie again and blonde just one time. :)

Thursday, September 8, 2016

Good News and Time to Walk

Good news- baby girl is not breach anymore!  She is very much head down.
Bad news- not dilating yet.

So time to start walking the neighborhood like crazy, eat spicy food, keep taking the stairs.
I can do it!

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Affairs in Order

With that panic I had this morning I just realized- I need to "put my affairs in order."
Which almost feels like I am planning on a death or something horrible!

With my job there is a lot going on in the fall- tons of new schools coming on board who need hotels, meals, transportation, etc planned ASAP so their schools can approve the trip and plan a budget for everyone.

And with me being gone I have 4 people covering (yeah I'm that cool) my cities.
And I need to get things ready for them to understand where I am at!

So at least I'm not bored right now?


I was just looking over my calendar at work, seeing when my next few calls to directors are, and realized- the date we may schedule my c-section if this little girl hasn't turn is LESS THAN FOUR WEEKS AWAY!  I think I have a ton to do... Like maybe get some newborn diapers?

We (well, little man and I) put together little lady's dresser on Saturday.
Of course one drawer just doesn't fit no matter what we do and it's non-returnable.
So that made me not want to fill the other drawers up.  Too frustrating.

But it's in the bedroom now.

Little man slept through the night (mostly) last night!  I'm pretty sure he sleep walks 2/3 nights cause he'll come in and seem to be staring right at me but his eyes are closed and he won't respond.

So I picked him up (yes, I'm 35 weeks pregnant and shouldn't have but it kept him asleep while dad snored beside us) and put him in his bed and he stayed asleep!  I got almost 9 hours of sleep last night which is the most I've had in weeks.

And the in-laws had a hike yesterday which of course at this point would have killed me.
So I got to stay home, alone, for 3 hours and veg and nap.
If it wasn't for the fact that I am SWEATING TO DEATH right now it would have been great.
And that was with a fan within two feet of my body.

But these complaints are all so minor.
I don't have it so badly- hubby has swollen ankles lately due to 10+ hour shifts at the bank.
But mine are not swelling (yet)!

My next appt is Thursday- we'll find out if she's breech and if these MILLIONS of braxton hicks have done anything yet.  *wish me luck!*

Friday, September 2, 2016

Split Views

View #1
I love my job.  I love seeing the students and directors having a fabulous time, learning more about their "craft," and gaining some amazing experiences they will always talk about
My job has provided me with amazing experience to travel a bit around the country, get into theme parks for free, many amazing free meals, and staying in fabulous resorts for free.
I get discounts to things, meet amazing people, and it got me out of a job where I wasn't progressing.
Most of the people I work with are great and we all have the same passion with this job.
we get shortened hours in the summer which is great

View #2
I need a new job.
I had the highest revenue in years of anyone in my department (I hit over a million dollars!) yet my bonus was 1/2% of that.  not even a full percent.
We're micro-managed.
We are told to get a hold of schools vocally within 7 days- not 7 business days, but 7 calendar days.
If we don't- we don't get part of our bonus.

Hence the post today- I was just told if you hit 85% of your vocal contact you can go home early.
I am the last one here cause I'm at 81% despite having almost double the groups that anyone else has.
There is no way to affect if a school is going to call you back- you can call/email every day but you have no way to MAKE them call you in that 7 days.

I'm pregnant, so my hormones are high, but that almost made me cry that my manager won't let me go home when I am the only here, I have already surpassed my goal for 2017 (yes, 2017!!), and have only taken 3 full vacation days so far this year.

Day 246 of 2016- no real vacation taken.
Wait, I take that back- I took a half day on  a Friday and we drove 2 hours away for 3 days and 2 nights.

I swore I would look for a new job on my maternity leave.

but another plus to this job?
They are SO nice to moms.  If I need to run home and nurse my baby cause he won't take a bottle- no problem.
If I need to run home to a sick baby- no problem.
No grief about pumping 2-3 times/day.

Also next summer I may be allowed to work from "home" if hubby has an internship out of state.
and when hubby graduates spring 2018 I am gone, retiring, kaput from the working world of 9-5.

So do I switch jobs just to make a little more money and treated like I'm valued when I made the company so much money?
I hear most companies give you 10% of your revenue goal.

Is it worth it with a new baby coming?
I really don't know.
On days like this I feel like I deserve so much better.

Thursday, September 1, 2016

Life is Precious

When we say our nightly family prayers I always make sure to pray for safety in our travels.
We're a busy family right now- the hubby is working again and school is back in session.
I work full time.
The little man started preschool and has 4 different babysitters throughout the week to help us.

So we are on the road a LOT.

That being said I made a call to the hubby right as I got to work- "There's a reason I pray for safety in our travels."
I let him know I am fine but I had a BIG scare.
I don't know exactly what happened as I wasn't distracted by anything in the car but suddenly the car in front of me was almost at a standstill on the freeway.
I slammed on my brakes, the car went sideways and suddenly I was across three lanes of rush-hour traffic.
All I could see was cars coming my way and that I barely missed the car in front of me by probably an inch.
But then I guided the car to the left side, pulled over, put on my blinkers, and just sat there.
Amazed I could get across all the lanes, not be hit, and that other than some hot brakes and lotsa smoke from my tires, I was fine.

But why?  I deserved to be hit, to have my precious car totaled (she's paid off, I bought her in college 12 years minus 20 days ago, I know because I bought her on my birthday).
It was obviously my fault.
But I am unharmed.

I keep reading stories of pregnancy loss, infant loss, etc.  I don't know why...
And I realize this baby is SUCH a miracle.  I'm 34 weeks and am having SO many braxton hicks mixed with some stronger contractions that wake me up every night.
But how amazing is this baby that she is still kicking and poking me like crazy.
She's still strong, healthy, and seemingly happy.

My son loves me.
He is always asking if I'm okay, if he can kiss me better, and telling me amazing stories.

My husband is working his tail off to make our lives better.
He's frustrated/busy/tired but still keeps at it.

I love my life and am grateful nothing worse happened this morning or to the life I am carrying.
(yes I made us wear matching shirts to a theme park)

And more from just life lately...
First dentist appointment- clean bill of health!

Wanting to drink with the dogs.... It was juice

The same smile I had at this age

My boys always on their toys

because any box at this age is cool to play in

Little man looks tired and he was.

Same car mentioned before- had to get some things fixed a few weeks ago and hubby felt very manly

Avengers push up contest!

My baby is growing up!