Dreams

Right before I announced to my in-laws about pregnancy #2 my sister-in-law said she had a dream we were pregnant.
Then she and another sister-in-law said they dreamt it was a boy.

When my middle sister-in-law announced she was pregnant the younger sister-in-law said she knew someone was.

My in-laws have a weird thing where dreams kinda come true or tell a truth to them.
I think it comes from my father-in-laws side as he says he has these dreams all the time- he just chooses not to share 99% of them.

With this third pregnancy my younger SIL and my husband both kept dreaming it was a girl way before we could tell on an ultrasound (and if you know our genetic history having a girl from my husband is scary- she'll be a carrier of his disease, could be symptomatic, etc and it's scary).
And they almost dreamt it would be a little girl with dark, almost black, hair.

I've been having a hard time this pregnancy- it wasn't planned, my husband is still in school and I'm the main provider, and it started out really scary and for 2 weeks we were told I was most likely miscarrying.

So when I went to my final ultrasound alone, saw a BABY, I was kinda shocked.
You start getting ready for another loss (very similar to pregnancy #1) and then get a SHOCK.
So it's been hard for me to get excited.  Then finding out it was a girl, when we needed a boy who would NOT have the disease, I've been kinda in a place of non-excitement.

I started buying some girl stuff to get excited, my son tickles my tummy and kisses his baby sister, and through all this trying to be excited on the outside where on the inside- I'm a mess.

But then I had a dream last night- I had just brought this little girl home from the hospital.
She had good chubby cheeks, just enough hair to tell it was dark, and these sweet big eyes.
She was a good nurser too (which I have to pray for as I have this blessing/curse that my milk comes in at 7 months pregnant).
And I woke up just HAPPY that she was healthy enough to nurse (part of the genetic disease is if they are strongly symptomatic they can't have protein so you usually can't nurse) and that she was so sweet.  I could just feel the strong love and need to protect her.

This makes me very emotional today but very excited to bring a sweet spirit into our home.

Also, similar to where we are now, she still didn't have a name in my dream.  We had one we were tossing around but still didn't  know.  Dang it :)

(18 weeks)
I'm 28 weeks tomorrow