Split Views

View #1
I love my job.  I love seeing the students and directors having a fabulous time, learning more about their "craft," and gaining some amazing experiences they will always talk about
My job has provided me with amazing experience to travel a bit around the country, get into theme parks for free, many amazing free meals, and staying in fabulous resorts for free.
I get discounts to things, meet amazing people, and it got me out of a job where I wasn't progressing.
Most of the people I work with are great and we all have the same passion with this job.
we get shortened hours in the summer which is great

View #2
I need a new job.
I had the highest revenue in years of anyone in my department (I hit over a million dollars!) yet my bonus was 1/2% of that.  not even a full percent.
We're micro-managed.
We are told to get a hold of schools vocally within 7 days- not 7 business days, but 7 calendar days.
If we don't- we don't get part of our bonus.

Hence the post today- I was just told if you hit 85% of your vocal contact you can go home early.
I am the last one here cause I'm at 81% despite having almost double the groups that anyone else has.
There is no way to affect if a school is going to call you back- you can call/email every day but you have no way to MAKE them call you in that 7 days.

I'm pregnant, so my hormones are high, but that almost made me cry that my manager won't let me go home when I am the only here, I have already surpassed my goal for 2017 (yes, 2017!!), and have only taken 3 full vacation days so far this year.

Day 246 of 2016- no real vacation taken.
Wait, I take that back- I took a half day on  a Friday and we drove 2 hours away for 3 days and 2 nights.

I swore I would look for a new job on my maternity leave.

but another plus to this job?
They are SO nice to moms.  If I need to run home and nurse my baby cause he won't take a bottle- no problem.
If I need to run home to a sick baby- no problem.
No grief about pumping 2-3 times/day.

Also next summer I may be allowed to work from "home" if hubby has an internship out of state.
and when hubby graduates spring 2018 I am gone, retiring, kaput from the working world of 9-5.

So do I switch jobs just to make a little more money and treated like I'm valued when I made the company so much money?
I hear most companies give you 10% of your revenue goal.

Is it worth it with a new baby coming?
I really don't know.
On days like this I feel like I deserve so much better.

Life is Precious

When we say our nightly family prayers I always make sure to pray for safety in our travels.
We're a busy family right now- the hubby is working again and school is back in session.
I work full time.
The little man started preschool and has 4 different babysitters throughout the week to help us.

So we are on the road a LOT.

That being said I made a call to the hubby right as I got to work- "There's a reason I pray for safety in our travels."
I let him know I am fine but I had a BIG scare.
I don't know exactly what happened as I wasn't distracted by anything in the car but suddenly the car in front of me was almost at a standstill on the freeway.
I slammed on my brakes, the car went sideways and suddenly I was across three lanes of rush-hour traffic.
All I could see was cars coming my way and that I barely missed the car in front of me by probably an inch.
But then I guided the car to the left side, pulled over, put on my blinkers, and just sat there.
Amazed I could get across all the lanes, not be hit, and that other than some hot brakes and lotsa smoke from my tires, I was fine.

But why?  I deserved to be hit, to have my precious car totaled (she's paid off, I bought her in college 12 years minus 20 days ago, I know because I bought her on my birthday).
It was obviously my fault.
But I am unharmed.

I keep reading stories of pregnancy loss, infant loss, etc.  I don't know why...
And I realize this baby is SUCH a miracle.  I'm 34 weeks and am having SO many braxton hicks mixed with some stronger contractions that wake me up every night.
But how amazing is this baby that she is still kicking and poking me like crazy.
She's still strong, healthy, and seemingly happy.

My son loves me.
He is always asking if I'm okay, if he can kiss me better, and telling me amazing stories.

My husband is working his tail off to make our lives better.
He's frustrated/busy/tired but still keeps at it.

I love my life and am grateful nothing worse happened this morning or to the life I am carrying.

(yes I made us wear matching shirts to a theme park)

And more from just life lately...

First dentist appointment- clean bill of health!

Wanting to drink with the dogs.... It was juice

The same smile I had at this age

My boys always on their toys

because any box at this age is cool to play in

Little man looks tired and he was.

Same car mentioned before- had to get some things fixed a few weeks ago and hubby felt very manly

Avengers push up contest!

My baby is growing up!

Update on Life

(just talking about my full-term pregnancies here)

First pregnancy- you keep track of every appointment, save all the reminder cards, take a bump picture, and remember how many days/weeks/months you are.
And you don't understand why other mums would say they want it over.

Second pregnancy- I'm just trying to make my appointments during lunch only so I don't have to use PTO.  Keeping track of appts on google calendar cause I have no where to put a reminder card.  I've taken 2 bumps pictures and I'm pretty sure I'm 32 weeks this week but I know I'm about 7 1/2 months?  8 months?  Going on the fact that my due date is less than two months away.
And I get why other mums want it over now- just to have NORMALCY back in bathroom trips, underwear, sleeping on your stomach, and just to get into a new "normal" of life

Left work to go to my doc appointment today- the 32 week (I only know this cause I called them and they let me know it was the 32 week appt).
Car wouldn't turn over- nothing, no click.  Radio/dash/air all worked still.
Battery is over 6 years old.  Sigh.

Call hubby (he started working for the first time in 4 years a month ago- yea!) and luckily he works later so he comes to take me to my appt.
We live over 30 minutes away.
I called the doc and just said forget it- I'll come to my scheduled appt next week (I'm on the bi-weeklies now but rescheduled last week's to take little man to preschool for his first time, shed a tear).

So hubby gets there.
We drive to Walmart by our house to get a new battery.
Go home, I eat cereal while he gets ready for work.
I deal with the in-laws dogs and make sure they poop (I love that with animals/kids life is just about poop.  That's it- poop).
Then drive hubby to work a half hour earlier.
Get to work and there's not much to do since my directors are all back East and 1pm is their 3pm departure time.  Sigh.

Sent little man to our family ranch today with my parents, a niece, my sister and brother.
Really couldn't find another babysitter and he's been BEGGING to go to the ranch.
Well now he won't be home until after 7pm.
Hubby gets off work just after 7pm.
I get home around 5:30pm.
What to do, what to do.

I could go get screws from Home Depot to put the crib together (since hubby accidentally dumped our toolbox on the deck and PRETTY SURE all the screws I painstakingly saved in their for the crib all fell to their deaths).  I could just relax and watch Netflix (need a new show!).  Start laundry.

I haven't had time alone at the house in a LONG time.
Way too long.
No idea what to do with it.

Truth

Today is my 5 year anniversary for my job.
Truth: this is crap that nothing happens.  I have been told by a few people I look big into my pregnancy today.  Good thing it isn't my birthday- I'd be even more upset.
I think I get a picnic blanket at the quarterly meeting for hitting 5 years.  Yea.....

Sleep training our little man for like the 4th time ever?
Truth:  everyone makes it seem like you do it the first time it sticks.  NOPE.  Little man got a cold last year and stopped falling asleep on his own.  So being an only child we spoiled him and would lay with him until he fell asleep.
Started last night by just sitting in the glider in his room while he fell asleep.  Which was great cause he didn't complain AND that chair is so comfy right now.
He was always the best sleeper until that stupid cold...

This is my third pregnancy, second to almost full term.
Truth: You really don't keep as much track after the first one.  I honestly am not quite sure what week I am.  I think 31 weeks....

I wasn't able to nest last time because of the issues with that pregnancy limiting my physical capabilities
Truth:  I think the hubby may kill me for the nesting I am doing now.  Lets just say the family room looks like we're moving in or out, not just organizing.

I don't ever want to own a dog or any furry creature.

Truth: Since living with my in-laws they now have two dogs and my SIL's have all bought dogs and snakes.  I never touched a snake before two weeks ago but this sweet little one wasn't too bad (no picture of me holding her but this is my little man who was so soft with her).

So my hubby and the little man may push me for a dog.... Dang it.

My work season starts on Thursday for 2017 (even though we started work on it back in May but now it's "official").

Truth: I AM NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.

I have double the amount of work anyone this season (it can never be predicted) and I have until mid-October before I go on maternity leave and have to get everyone contacted, contracted, and firmed up before then.  So that when I come back in December I don't die.  Which I might do anyway

Yesterday at church I combined classes with another lady and she filmed my class for her little youtube channel she does with her famous husband

Truth:  IT REALLY BUGS ME that I try to not show much of my son on social media but now he's on this wildly popular youtube channel?  Also, why is she filming in CHURCH?  They actually tell us not to.

Little man starts preschool on Thursday as well which he is so excited for.

Truth:  I am apprehensive, nervous, scared, excited, and gonna cry.

My emotions are all over the place right now and part of that is I just wanna be honest with people.
I'm tired, my clothes don't fit, hubby started working again, and I just wanna take a week off (which I have the PTO for but gotta save that for maternity leave).

But I'm healthy.
The baby is healthy.
My boys are healthy.
I just might survive....

Dreams

Right before I announced to my in-laws about pregnancy #2 my sister-in-law said she had a dream we were pregnant.
Then she and another sister-in-law said they dreamt it was a boy.

When my middle sister-in-law announced she was pregnant the younger sister-in-law said she knew someone was.

My in-laws have a weird thing where dreams kinda come true or tell a truth to them.
I think it comes from my father-in-laws side as he says he has these dreams all the time- he just chooses not to share 99% of them.

With this third pregnancy my younger SIL and my husband both kept dreaming it was a girl way before we could tell on an ultrasound (and if you know our genetic history having a girl from my husband is scary- she'll be a carrier of his disease, could be symptomatic, etc and it's scary).
And they almost dreamt it would be a little girl with dark, almost black, hair.

I've been having a hard time this pregnancy- it wasn't planned, my husband is still in school and I'm the main provider, and it started out really scary and for 2 weeks we were told I was most likely miscarrying.

So when I went to my final ultrasound alone, saw a BABY, I was kinda shocked.
You start getting ready for another loss (very similar to pregnancy #1) and then get a SHOCK.
So it's been hard for me to get excited.  Then finding out it was a girl, when we needed a boy who would NOT have the disease, I've been kinda in a place of non-excitement.

I started buying some girl stuff to get excited, my son tickles my tummy and kisses his baby sister, and through all this trying to be excited on the outside where on the inside- I'm a mess.

But then I had a dream last night- I had just brought this little girl home from the hospital.
She had good chubby cheeks, just enough hair to tell it was dark, and these sweet big eyes.
She was a good nurser too (which I have to pray for as I have this blessing/curse that my milk comes in at 7 months pregnant).
And I woke up just HAPPY that she was healthy enough to nurse (part of the genetic disease is if they are strongly symptomatic they can't have protein so you usually can't nurse) and that she was so sweet.  I could just feel the strong love and need to protect her.

This makes me very emotional today but very excited to bring a sweet spirit into our home.

Also, similar to where we are now, she still didn't have a name in my dream.  We had one we were tossing around but still didn't  know.  Dang it :)

(18 weeks)
I'm 28 weeks tomorrow

VBAC with Uterine Fibroid

I had a c-section with my first kiddo (4 years and 2 days ago.  My li'l boy is SO big now).
It was a great story-
I had some contractions 2 days past my due date that were pretty consistent. But I thought- I'd rather go to bed.
So I did.
Woke up at 6am, jumped out of bed-
"Honey I think I peed the bed. I am so sorry!"
So I went to the bathroom and the peeing didn't stop (sorry if TMI).

As the hubby is asking if my water broke I notice it's meconium.

Yeah, my water broke in bed.  Not sure if that mattress cover is water proof now after we bleached it to death after that.

Went to the hospital, was the only one in L&D (which was amazing for the largest hospital in Utah), got checked in and the nurses verified it was meconium and I was in active labor.

37 fun hours labor and still only at 5cm dilated we did a c-section.
Baby was not dropping, worried about him being meconium, so we got him out.
Complications in c-section (fibroid was HUGE and they couldn't get it back in so I started bleeding out).  But everything is fine and we were home I think on Friday when I was checked in on Sunday.  LONG STAY.

So I assumed this time I would be a c-section again with the fibroid being in the same position.
My doctor agreed it would be best to just plan the c-section.

But now that the fibroid is actually NOT growing as much as last time I'm starting to think- what about a VBAC?  Hmm...

Plus the whole thing of picking the day your children will be born is
1. weird.  What if they hate the day I pick?  Mostly joking.
2. a big drama thing with family

A lot of family is born around that time and I've already had two people tell me they don't want to share the date.  SERIOUSLY?  Then my doctor is out of town the one day that would work perfectly.

So maybe I will just wait to go into labor naturally?
I enjoyed my epidural last time (that anesthesiologist was FANTASTIC!  The only thing I felt was the warm blood dripping down my back (sounds gross, sorry but I found it cool)).
But I'm intrigued by natural labor.
*Sidenote after I wrote this- the baby is breach right now at 27 weeks.  Crap.

I have an appointment next week along with my GD test (I think I'm the only one that enjoys that sugar filled juice.  Yum).  So I had better write down some questions!

Well I'm work in 50 minutes.  Sweet!
And I just secured hotel rooms for this weekend for a little getaway.  Wahoo!

The Little Man

My little man is turning 4 this weekend.  How is that possible?
how is it possible that he is SO tall?
how is it possible that he knows how to question me now, how to tease me, and when to hug me when I need it most?

I'm not huge into birthday parties- unfortunately I married a family who LOVES parties.
So you gotta do something (except my birthday this year which I am basically ignoring because I'll be 38 weeks pregnant.  I'm asking for car mats.  I want a boring birthday and to be ignored).

So I decided the little man's birthday is going to be a water fight.
Should be easy and cheap enough right?
Tons of Little Caesar's Pizza, drinks, a plastic pool full of water beads (cause I have TONS) and water balloons.
A basket of water guns.
A bucket full of water sponges.

There are going to be 8 kids which isn't too bad (unless my sister is in town with her kids then 10 kids total but somehow I'm thinking the 14, 16, and 18 year olds won't be participating as much when the other kids are 10, 10, 8, 7, 7, 4, and 3).

I made up a cute invitation

I can handle this, right?