Staying Stress Free

How am I staying stress free right now?
Zoloft.
Wish it was Xanax.
That's how good things are going right now.

I had a baby!

(I wrote this back on December 7th but couldn't post from my phone for some reason...)

Once upon an October I had a baby girl. 

I will write the story soon'ish.  

Today is my first day back at work  and these are my thoughts for journaling purposes-

* I hated leaving my babies this morning.  I hate giving the baby more of the prescription (special diet due to genetic disease) formula cause I didn't have enough pumped. 

*first pumping session yielded more than I pumped in two sessions on maternity leave!  Big blessing. 

*I'm mean to my husband.  I made him do the night feeding last night so I got a bit more sleep before my first day back.  But then I slept in the little man's bed to keep him asleep.  

*after being out of our home  for five  days (wood flooring being installed/sealed)  we got home at 5 lady night and had almost no food.  Which means I had nothing to bring to work today

*day 1 of eating healthier while at work -  FAIL

*work updated the whole system while I was gone so I'm SCARED TO DEATH  my times are gone forever.  So sitting here on hold with  'George'  trying to get them back. 

*500+ emails,  29+ voicemails ,  will I every catch up?  

* I'm missing my last two careers right now- banking and operations at Old Navy.  

Guess I'd better work a bit. 

Doesn't help that my coverage quit while I was  gone.....  I need to hold my babies.  

5 days left

I have my final maternity appointment in about an hour.
I love that the hubby says this morning "well let me know if anything happens."
He says that a lot lately as though I might not let him know.

Granted I didn't tell him with the little man that I was having contractions until the next day.
Granted I didn't tell him I was having contractions this time a few weeks ago.
But it's usually because his phone is dead!

I have dropped big time in the last week.
Last week the NP told I was maybe a 1/2 inch dilated (I think she lied to make me feel better) but very thinned out (they never tell me if I'm effaced or a guess on baby's weight).

So lets pray for more today!
Getting stripped o'those membranes today too.  Gross word but exciting word if you're pregnant!

I am so trunky at work.  I am so over it.  And I know I've heard these lines 20+ times today at work, no exaggeration:
- you've dropped more than yesterday (I do like this one)
- what are you doing here?
-where's that baby?

Yup, I'm done.  I'm done nesting at home, I'm done with work, I'm done with my bra digging into the top of my belly/chest area (I am not going to a sports bra people.  WAY too big of a chest and I don't want uniboob).

So here is my sign off, hopefully, until baby girl is here!

A Birth Plan

First time:

My water broke at home, 37 hours later at the hospital I had a c-section.
We never did a birthing class, toured part of the hospital, and my only plan was to have an epidural.

Second time:

Since I want a VBAC, and as I sit here having contractions at work (what joy....), my plan is to just breathe like they tell you in TV shows where they go to a class.

Great planning huh?

At least this time I have the baby bag packed in advance (did it at 6am the first time) and a bag for me.

Also a bag for my son to take to Grandma's for a couple days.

So I'm partially prepared, that works right?

I never had contractions like this the first time.

It's very intriguing... 

Do I really need all this stuff?

As I'm prepping (nesting) for baby #2 to arrive in 2 weeks and 1 day (but who is counting down...) there are some things I wonder if I really NEED or just want.

Went to Ross on my lunch break today to find a bag to carry my pumping supplies to work.
Is that a NEED?  Kind of.  I don't know how else I'd carry it to work and I wanted a new bag that I could easily santize.  I also got a new insulated bag that fits inside the new one that lays flat for the freezer at work.  Kinda need those to feed my baby santitarily and to hide things a bit when I go back to work.

Hats/socks- I personally didn't want my baby girl girl coming home from the hospital in the only newborn hat her brother had- camo that says Daddy's Hunting BUddy.  I could make it work BUT.... she deserved her own.  Pink with birds it is.  And the socks?  The elastic on big brudduh's socks just felt like it was wearing out.


Bedding- yes I have four sheets from big brudduh for the crib.  but they were western sheets.  I do need to get her a couple that are girly enough.  For now the plain brown ones/brown and white checkered will do for now.

a cradle.  I borrowed my SIL's bassinet for the little man and then she had her own so it's back in her hands.  And she announced they were "trying" when we found out we were pregnant so no way was I gonna ask to borrow it again.
And I like a small thing to keep them in by me for the first couple months.

So it's not a need as we have a crib but more a want.  And it has a very "heirloom" look to it.

the fancy blessing dress- I never had one.  It's a long story but all three of us girls from my mom wore a vivid red dress to our blessings at church and HECK NO was I using that again.
I need something for the blessing but the want was the style.  I spent more than I should have but hopefully she'll pass it on to her daughter?



It's sometimes very hard to define needs vs. wants.
But when I'm hormonal, can't do much, and am having the daughter I never thought I'd have.... Eh, just let me shop. :)

False Labor

Last Thursday I woke up just not feeling myself.
I was aching everywhere, gave up and finally used the elevator once at work instead of the stairs (we're only on the 2nd floor but the 1st floor is huge so it's two flights of stairs to the 2nd).

Around 4pm I started feeling like my Braxton Hicks were hurting more in my back and everywhere.  I started wondering if they were real contractions.

5pm, on the drive home from work, timed them (what else is there to do in a construction packed highway?).
Every two minutes.
Got to my parents to pick up the little man- 5:35 and still going strong at every two minutes.

I burst into tears when my mom asks how I am feeling.
She starts laughing and smiling at me through each contraction.

Decided I should probably tell the hubby.
Text him- are you home?
Within about 10 seconds I get a FB message- Sorry honey, my phone died.  I'm home already
Me:  k well um... I'm having contractions every two minutes.
Him:  okay, what do you want to do? Do you think you need to go to the hospital?
Me: I don't want to.  I'll get home and lay down, see what happens
Him: ok
Me: charge your phone, leaving now, meet me outside

Got home and for the first time ever of requesting him to meet me outside to help me in- he was there!
And he went  straight to get the little man out of the car.
Yeah I yelled- I'm the one in labor, the 4 year old can wait!!

We went inside and started packing the baby bag (which was partially packed) and my bag.  Also a bag for little man while staying at grandparents.

Finally decided around 7 we should just go.  They weren't slowing down.
Took little man to my parents, went to the hospital OB Emergency.

They hooked me up and determined I was very dehydrated.
So I did two bags of fluid in a couple hours, watched some Disney movies, and they said they were having a hard time getting little lady's heart rate cause she wouldn't hold still.  Yup, that's my girl.  CONSTANTLY moving.

But we got the contractions to slow down, got home around 11:30pm and here I am at work again.  How exciting, a letdown, and now back to waiting again.

The good news is she's not here early.
Bad news is I'm not dilated or effaced AT ALL.

Countdown to schedule c-section- 21 days.  SO LONG.......

Lets talk about Hair

My hair has always been the same color- I call it Golden Red.
The first thing my mom said when she saw me after giving birth was- look, she has red hair!

It's always been STICK straight, doesn't hold curl, and could never be called thick.

When my mom and sister were pregnant their hair changed to curly.
I had high hopes for this- cause a girl with straight hair wants curls and a girl with curls wants straight hair, right?

First pregnancy- hormones didn't get high enough to do anything before I lost that one
Second pregnancy- the last trimester my hair grew like CRAZY, got awesomely thick, and was just pretty.
Third pregnancy- last trimester my hair is again growing like CRAZY but the thickness this time is just kinda annoying.

But after the second pregnancy- it all fell out and I had to cut it short for a bit.
NEVER did it get curly or even a possible wave.

Third pregnancy- I know it'll fall out again.  It's just being weird.
If anything it's holding curl worse than in my whole life.

Hormones do some crazy stuff for sure!

But once I get back down to my goal weight the plan is to go pixie again and blonde just one time. :)